Get active!
I write a lot on these pages, but reading about exhaust fumes and pollution isn't really the main point! In the end, it's about going out there to see pollution as it happens in the real world, to enjoy the sound of engines roaring and sputtering, to marvel at the huge, thick plumes of filthy, defiled air poisoning the countryside, and the breathe in the exhilarating, acrid smell of freshly burnt oil and gasoline. Or maybe you're ready to go a step further. Then it's about suiting up in your protective gear, filling the tank with fresh fuel, pulling that starting rope and revelling in the knowledge that you're churning out noxious clouds of pollution that will still contaminate Earth's atmosphere thousands of years after you are gone! Maybe you would even want to meet some like-minded people, enjoy some air-polluting activities together and share your stories and experiences?
Some of the ideas I have for this section are hints on where to go to enjoy some particularly polluting motorsports (or other environmentally harmful events you might want to witness), where and how you can best try out or enjoy producing gratuitous exhaust fumes yourself, interesting equipment you might want to buy, some way of getting in touch with people who share these interests, any maybe even organise meetups.
My love for exhaust fumes has been with me for as long as I can think, so I know how impossible it can seem to indulge in these cravings for young people still living with their parents, people not having a lot of money, not having a driver's license, or living where causing needless pollution would raise questions and complaints. If that describes you, then I hope that the pictures and videos I share on this website are already bringing some joy to you. But I'm convinced that no matter what the challenges are, there are ways to satisfy that thirst further, out in the real world. So the pages in this section will be about helping you find ways in which you can enjoy passively watching or actively producing exhaust fumes yourself, regardless of circumstances.
Until then, here are just a few very generic tips. But maybe they will help you figure out that next step!
- 📷 Find rental kart tracks in your area. Read up on the places before you head there – you don't want to travel a long way and find that the place uses electric karts! Gasoline-driven rental karts are still very popular and in the majority, though (and the more people go there, the more they will stick around). Karting is a very popular pastime and therefore completely unsuspicious. It was my first way of producing exhaust fumes in public, because nobody will be suspicious or wondering if you're there for some secret, naughty reason. Pretty much everybody loves racing! Many places even lend out racesuits. And if you can find an indoor track, enjoy the fact that your clothes, hair, and everything you brought with will bring some exhaust smell home with you. The downside is that rental karting is usually quite expensive.
- 📷 Visit nearby motocross races. Or any other motorsports events, of course. But motocross is my favourite, because they have the highest percentage of two-stroke engines. If you prefer two-strokes as well, particularly check for races with youth and women's classes, because those tend to use two-stroke bikes even more frequently. Entry for spectators is often free or quite cheap, the downside is that they take place out in the countryside, although it also makes it extra nice to see the pollution wafting away into pristine nature, rather than being stuck in the city or at some racetrack. Racedays offer an awesome atmosphere for people who like exhaust fumes, because the large amount of engines running in a confined area keep the air thick with the smell of gasoline and exhaust pretty much all day. I love the smell of exhaust, but even I sometimes have to spend some minutes away from the tracks to get at least a few breaths of clean air for a change! After a day at the races, I often feel my upper airways still burning for many hours.
- 📷 Sign up for a tryout. If there are any motocross, moto trials, enduro, karting, or similar clubs in your area, check their calendars. They often organise tryout days to find new members, particularly young ones. The great thing about these events are the low cost, that you need no prior experience, and all the equipment is provided to you. The people there will show you the ropes, ensure everything is safe, and are very interested in you having a great time, because they'd love for you to take up the sport and join them!
- 📷 Buy a lawn trimmer, leaf blower, or power generator! If you have the possibility – maybe you live in the countryside, or in a house with a garden – a lawn trimmer or leaf blower might be the perfect first engine for you! I'm probably a bit biased, because when I was a little boy, a two-stroke lawn trimmer was the very first thing I managed to make my own, real gasoline exhaust fumes with 😊 but there are several reasons why the first opportunity I found for this in my life, having not even been a teenager yet, was a trimmer. First of all, and that was just luck: it was available because we had a garden and my father owned the trimmer. I couldn't have hidden a trimmer in my bedroom, but I might have found a way, had we not already owned a two-stroke trimmer, to explain to my family that I'd help out in the garden with it if we had one. Second: trimmers are among the most portable and lightweight tools with a petrol engine. Smaller models are not much more than 5 kgs! And, reason three, because they're a very common tool, having and using one won't raise any eyebrows, as long as you have some kind of garden. Four: they're extremely cheap, probably the cheapest two-stroke engines you'll find. You can find new ones at just around $150 regular price. If you look for used ones at yard sales or on online marketplaces, don't be surprised to find gas-powered trimmers in perfect working condition for less than $50. With some patience, you might even find one for free! I'm not aware of a more budget-friendly way to buy a polluting two-stroke engine. And to conclude with a fifth reason: polluting, they are! That they're built to be as light and cheap as possible, and because they're off-road, small-bore engines that don't need to pass any kind of emissions tests, manufacturers are free to use engines that belch out as much pollution as they want. Especially when compared to the tiny size of the machines and their exhaust pipes, I've rarely seen engines that spew out exhaust fumes as impressive as those produced by most two-stroke trimmers. Most of this is true for leaf blowers, as well, and a small two-stroke power generator could be an excellent entry point, too! And for any of these kinds of devices, you don't have to look for an old wreck, either. Just look for small, two-stroke models. A few years ago, my then-girlfriend got me a brand-new MTD trimmer to add to my collection. To our surprise, it blew out clouds of exhaust so thick and huge, it put all of my other, much older trimmers to shame.
- 📷 Buy some racing gear! If getting an engine is currently impossible for you after all, this is the next best thing, and what I started out with myself. You may not have the opportunity to become a reckless, wasteful polluter just yet, but what better way to prepare for it than by dressing like one? Depending on your likes and preferences, that may not do anything for you, but it certainly did for me. I was still in a phase where I was mostly in disbelief and incomprehension about how people could be so vicious as to pollute the air just for fun. But my curiosity about how it might feel to do such evil things, how the people doing them could even look at themselves, was big enough that one day, I bought a used karting suit I saw advertised at a local car garage. I then went through and tried to process the bewildering, unsettling, disturbing experience of seeing myself looking like one of them. I was the environmentalist boy who vowed to fight against pollution as a grown-up, and here, in total conflict with my self-image, I was wearing something only worn by those who destroy the planet for fun, and aren't ashamed of it. To top it all, the seller didn't wash it before I picked it up, so it reeked of gasoline and exhaust, and therefore, so did I. It was also small enough for me to be able to hide it in my room 😉 The exciting, provocative, and defiant feelings I had when wearing and seeing myself in that suit certainly gave me a lot of pleasure, back before I had the opportunity to actually start any kind of engine. And if you think the same might be true for you: a lot of used racing gear is constantly being sold for cheap online, whether you're curious about a racing suit, motocross gear, a chest protector, or a helmet. And once you own it, maybe having it around will be additional motivation to keep looking for ways of using it the way it's meant to be used soon!
